Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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