why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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