2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
