Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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