$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
