people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
