VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
