I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
