i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
