"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
