You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
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