He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
