He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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