Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
