so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
