This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
