Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
