She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize