i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
