Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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