The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize