where does the pee come out of this thing
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
