does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize