apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
