:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
