Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize