I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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