she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize