Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
she peed on how many people?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
