Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
