he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
