we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
