youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
