i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
