Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
