Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
