bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize