she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
