In the future we'll all be gay
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
