he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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