The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
