I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
