i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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