So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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