so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize