Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
