We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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