Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
