Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I could make wine with my vomit
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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