Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
