My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
