why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
