And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I need moral support for this bender
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Randomize
