My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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