I feel great
I just peed on a car
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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