its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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