found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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