Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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