Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
