What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
